I’m Living a Double Life
Every morning, I meticulously paste on a smile, a mask for the world to see. They know 'Riya,' the dutiful daughter, the software engineer with a promising future, the girl being gently steered towards an arranged marriage with a 'suitable' boy. My parents beam, satisfied. Their hard work, their sacrifices – all culminating in this perfect picture of Indian success. But oh, the lie I live.
Because there’s another 'I' that emerges when the city sleeps, or in hushed whispers over a video call, or in stolen moments in a crowded park. This 'I' loves a man whose name, whose background, whose very existence would shatter their meticulously built world. He’s an artist, vibrant and free, with a spirit that calls to the part of me I've had to bury deep: my love for poetry, for unconventional art, for a life lived without the suffocating cage of expectations.
The weight of these two lives is crushing. Every 'yes' to a potential groom, every deferential nod, feels like a betrayal to the man who truly sees me, and to the woman I secretly am. The fear of discovery is a constant knot in my stomach. What would they say? 'Log kya kahenge?' – the chilling question that governs our lives here. Would they ever forgive me? Would I ever forgive myself for this deceit, or for denying my own heart?
I yearn for a world where Riya, the engineer, and Riya, the dreamer, can be one. But for now, I drift between two impossible realities, a prisoner in a life I’ve built with lies, holding onto a love that could set me free, or destroy everything.
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