I never thought I would become the person I’m today.

When I first started working at the company I was already in a relationship with Rohan. Rohan and I had been together for six years. He had a lot of faith in me. The kind of faith that makes you feel safe and trapped at the time. He believed in the things I wanted to do more than I did. When I got the job offer he was really happy for me. He acted like it was something he had achieved himself.

That is when I met Arjun.

Arjun was my manager. He was also very smart and paid attention to details. He noticed things about me. Like when I did not eat lunch.. When I stayed at the office late.. When my voice shook during meetings. One time he told me “You are meant for things ” after we met with a client. No one had ever said that to me in the way he did.

At first it was about work. We would meet late at night to talk about work. We would discuss plans. Have coffee together. I told Rohan that I was just getting used to the pressure of working in a company.. That part was true.. What I did not tell him was that I was starting to look forward to staying late at the office.

When you start to get close to someone in a way that’s not right it does not feel like you are doing anything wrong at first. It just feels like someone understands you.

Arjun would ask me about my relationship with Rohan in a way. He would not cross any lines but he would get close. One time he asked me “You have been with Rohan for six years. Are you not curious about what else’s out there?” He said it with a smile. I laughed it off. That question stayed in my mind for a long time.

The night things changed between Arjun and me was not dramatic. There were no candles or big confessions. We had just finished a project. Everyone else went home after we had drinks. I stayed behind. Arjun walked me to my car. There was a lot of tension between us. It was clear. I could have walked away.

I did not.

After that night nothing changed at home.. That was the scary part. Rohan still called me during his lunch break. He still made plans for our future. He still talked about getting married like it was something that would definitely happen. I would sit across from him at dinner smiling and nodding while my phone was getting messages from Arjun.

At work I got a promotion quickly. Faster than anyone expected. People were talking about it. They did not know what was really going on. Arjun was still professional and calm in front of everyone.. When we were alone we would meet in secret. We would lock the conference room door. We would take business trips. Stay an extra day. Every time we met in secret it made me feel guilty.. I never stopped it.

What scares me is not that I cheated on Rohan.

It is that Rohan still does not know what happened. He trusts me completely. He introduces me to people as the woman he is going to marry. He posts pictures of us on media with captions about being loyal and together forever.. I stand next to him smiling, knowing something that could hurt him really badly.

Sometimes I watch Rohan sleep. I wonder what would hurt him more. The fact that I cheated on him or the fact that I was able to keep it a secret.

Arjun says we should keep things the way they’re. He says we should keep it clean and controlled without any drama.. Secrets are never clean. They slowly start to rot. I can feel it every time Rohan looks at me with much trust.

I do not know how this story will end.

Maybe I will tell Rohan the truth.

Maybe I will marry him. Keep this secret forever.

Maybe one day the truth will come out on its own.

Until then I am proof that the worst betrayals do not always cause a scene.

Sometimes they just sit next, to you at dinner…. Smile.